Yearn

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Been awhile since I've written anything. as youknow .. it 'pends on the mood, everything seems alright.. I thought, but then again some people are just sheep, ignorance is bliss and sometimes it can't seem to get it pass their head... ah well... dumb ass mo' fo's ....

But this is really bugging me, well.. i guess it's on my mind....

Ever since that wedding weekend, lots of things have been on my mind. For a sstart I think my dad’s ex is a first class bitch (but I think it comes with a lot of baggage), but that’s my 5 cents worth. I did also fell that the family did get closer abit, there was a certain togetherness…. Eh .. maybe it’s just the mood.

But the thing that’s really bugging me is this ‘stress’ of sorts after seeing what I saw over the weekend. Well, for a start the respect and authority and power that my dad has is truly amazing and somewhat awe inspiring in my point of view, not that my mom’s one has not gone unnoticed but I think his is more apparent and in your face.

But really, the amount of high powered people that were there made me few so tiny, I never felt so out of place before, even though it was family that was hosting the weekend and there afew people buttering up to me and my sis after realizing who our relations were, somewhat amusing but to be honest? I really enjoyed it.

Now have I gone out of my head to say that I would want to be where my dad is one fine day? Well, hell, a fraction of what my brothers have achieved would be fine by me, but really am I not bring realistics? At the moment failure is not an option, look at my mom, sis, dad, brothers, sis in law also… sigh.. am feeling this self imposed/inflicted pressure on me… help?

Back to reality, a month to go and siesta form this shithole.. no offense...