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”In my dreams I'm dying all the time, As I wake its kaleidoscopic mind, I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to lie, So this is goodbye … This is goodbye … In my dreams I'm jealous all the time, As I wake I'm going out of my mind … Going out of my mind …”

"I Saw Your Soul"

Indeed, as much this statement seems bordering rather on the eerie and rather paranormal side of things, it does seem to shed some light on who you might be, call it what you want: In your element perhaps?

This statment was suggested to me by someone to whom I was chatting with on MSN over the weekend. The line did amused in some respects, as my mind, often as it does, does ponder and wander a fair bit given any, ample idle time as I thought of psychic paranormal hoodoo.

I didn't really go into detail as to what she really meant by that. So I sorta deduced it as what it is to that statement was in reference to, a mere bit of socialising.

Yes, as shallow as it sounds, all it was was mere bit of socialising. But in fairness, it dos hold alotta truth, I do enjoy meeting new poeple, old friends all neww ones, poeple always evolve, every hour in everyday, they're different then they were when you last met them, The ideosynchrosis of people, everyone's got a story to tell, you just gotta know how to turn the cover open.

Does sound rather sinister, but it's true ....

Status Quo

It’s in this day and age that people always say that they would want to carve a niche for one’s self; to be different, some might say, and that they’ll go out of their way to prove a point that they are being different.

I think it is in my own opinion that by doing this expressively, wouldn’t they be contradicting what they said they wouldn’t want to be in the first place?

In the local Singaporean context, having a “normal” lifestyle would be to study your ass off, get a job, and live a contecnted life in the heartlands.

As pretencious as this may sound, 80% or so of the majority of Singaporeans live in public housing, not that it is to be frown upon. I mean have you seen some of the newer public developments? They seem condo like.

“Suceess is a journey, not a destination” which is a quote I hold engrained in my mind, I guess this can be said about life, you gotta start somewhere. And what I have observed and to a certain extent experienced, life’s all about learning and moving on up in the world, and I think ‘moving on’ would vary to a certain degress depednding on what this term may be perceived as according to the inviduals goals and expectations.

This need to be different I guess srems from living in a highly competitive spciety, the nedd to finish first, because who cares about the person who comes in after the winner? To be kiasi in the local context.

To have your own identity, in hindsight after expressing this? Wouldn’t you end up just being the same as the rest who are trying to be different?

I guess being yourself doesn’t really cut it these days. I for one, am proud of my Singaporean upbringing. Sure, we are a young nation and all that, not much history apart from the colonial days and the second world war. I for one enjoyspeaking in Singlish, that mish mash of languages that is rolled into one rather ‘colorful’ trail of words and languages. And in some odd sense, it does mirror what Singapore’s heritage and society is all about: a melting port for the citizens of the world.

Which does go to show how small the world is becoming, I remember in my uni days in K.V., we were trading local slans and dialects. It doesn’t show bbad manners or a bad grasp of English (what is English these days anyways? You don’t see anyone speaking in Victorian or queen’s English now do you?). In many repscts it could show your communications skills, when to sayt what and to whom, given the time and circumstances.

So what is the fuss with some people? I for one, did not, and still don’t, I guess never had a ‘normal’ Singaporean upbringing. Lucky o not, it still has it’s perils.

But here I am, a normal person enjoyinig life, enjoying what is to come, havinga normal first job, having a normal drink afterwork, having a normal good time with friends, getting smashed after a normal week of work on the weekend.

So what’s wrong with being normal? Being genuine, true to yourself doesn’t count for much these days? As one person did say this about a certain local celeb< “You can take her outta a pig farm Chua Chu Kang, but you can never get Chaua Chu Kang outta her …” Ouch, yes I know, does sound kinda snooty, but I’m just trying to reiterate what I have been saying in this entry.

TGIF!

And thank God it is. To be honest, it has been one of the more harrowing weeks since I started working. I wouldn’t say that it directly work related, to a certain extent it has to do with, indirectly.

And as life goes on, you pick a few more of it’s lessons; about who people really are, how you perceive peole and they may think of you also, some good, some bad ….. yada yada yada ….

Which could be one of the reasons why the last couple of entries have been rather cryptic … less written the more can be said….. write on .. pun intended ....

to?

To be together is to touch

To touch is to feel

To feel is to love

To love is to live

To live is to breathe

To breathe is to think

To whoever this may be for

For it to come true?

whatever that is meant to be ...

To whatever it seems to be

When comformaty is the way it should be

And self assurance is the bane

To which society shudders itself away from

For the fear and lack of,

Self gratitude, dignity and pride

Where we are mere shells of our mortal selves

And everything that we were meant to be

To become

Is swallowed by the hunger that is time

back again!

Yea I know, been awhile since I last blogged, not that I didn’t want to, just for the fact that this damn blog hosting site is being such a bitch at tims when it comes to posting multiple pics, hence antics and merry making of the festive season shall be kept away from the world.

Either than that, there hasn’t been really much else to write about really, have been in my shell somewhat, lost the mood to pen anything really, so I guess that diarrhea of abstracticit thoughts should do the trick ….

abstract

What it is to be seized

Moments of a lifetime

When memories are meant to be cherished

Encapsulated in time

When opportunities are not to refuted

But to be faced

Where it may pan out right

And at times it comes to nothing

Nothing is worth regretting

And everything is worth embracing

There is a certainty on all of us

But doubts as individuals

As fate wields it’s wicked wand

Of dishing out redemption

Separating the wrong from the right

And bestowing the good from the bad

What comes to be

We’ll never know